Tuesday, March 06, 2007

 

Memoriam


Dear friends and family,

Thank you for your prayers and concern for my father and family these past weeks. As most of you will know by now, my father passed away last Monday 26th February at 8.43pm. He had been suffering from massive pulmonary embolisms which had produced many blood clots in his lungs. As sad and hard as the past week has been for us as a family, we thank God that he is no longer suffering or in pain and are all comforted that dad is now with the Lord.

On the night of his death, I was in fact in the Intensive Care room with dad for about 45 minutes as his heartbeat and blood pressure gradually slowed down to a halt. I sang Christian songs and hymns to him, and verses from Scripture, as well as encouraged him to go home to the Lord, telling him that his sons would look after mum, etc. All along, I felt the presence and peace of God in the room, and so when his heart did stop, there was a strange sense of a joyful release mixed with the sadness of parting.

My mum arrived back at the hospital with two of my aunts just in time to be there for the last few moments of dad’s earthly life, when a very faint heartbeat was still visible.

Maple has been due to return the very night of the 26th at 11pm from Taiwan, but in the end, her flight was delayed for a few hours and she eventually touched down in the early hours of the morning, where I met her at the airport to convey the sad news of dad’s death. (However, we saw the hand of the Lord in the delay of her flight, because I was able to do all the necessary arrangements with the hospital and casket company for a few hours before leaving for the airport – something I would not have been able to do had she come in on time.)

Both my brothers then made immediate plans to return to Singapore. My second brother Mark came home with his wife Rachel and their two children from Australia late Tuesday night 27th February, while my eldest brother Steve came home from the UK (without his wife Geraldine) the next night, Wednesday 28th.

From the hospital, we had taken his body back to St Paul’s Anglican Church, which was the first church in Singapore that dad was priest-in-charge when he first came from Sri Lanka, and was also the place where he met and later married my mother. We held a wake at St Paul’s with two nightly services on Tuesday and Wednesday (27th and 28th February) and the funeral was held on the afternoon of Thursday 1st March – his body was cremated at the Mandai Crematorium at 5pm that same day. All events were well attended – many extended family members, friends and church-members came together to share our grief and to remember and give thanks to God for the life of my father. At the funeral, my two brothers and I took turns to give eulogies about my father – he was a truly kind, gentle and sacrificial man who did much to provide for his wife and family but was also very generous towards his extended family in Sri Lanka and to those in need. Dad’s firm faith in God and the many years he spent serving in the church were also recalled.

One of the leaders of St Paul’s, said in his eulogy that dad was a ‘quiet intellectual giant’.
Indeed, my dad read and collected a great number of books on many subjects, took copious notes of his readings, preached many challenging and interesting sermons, and had an ability to understand and discourse about complex ideas and yet still be a humble friend to those with lesser or little education and or of other persuasions. In short, my dad was truly a special person, and there were many sad and grieving people at his funeral who echoed these sentiments.

I now believe it was God’s gift to Maple and me that we returned to Singapore to live with mum and dad these last one and a half years of his life. It gave us an opportunity at close hand to help him out in his old age. I remember also many a late night waking him up to watch Arsenal matches broadcast in the early hours of the morning in Singapore – he became, like me, a dedicated supporter towards the end of his life. Those ironically were great moments of bonding between father and son.

But he loved and always spoke well of all his sons, and last August 2006, for the first time, the three sons were in Singapore together with their wives (and two grandchildren) for a family re-union. We were not to know at that time that it would also be our last.

Both of my brothers will leave Singapore by next Saturday 10th March. We have been busy trying to make arrangements to ensure mum is looked after when we all leave. Maple and I are exploring with our mission supporters if we can delay our leaving for Thailand for a few months, while we help mum adjust to living as a widow.

For the moment, may I thank all of you for your concern, prayers and words of encouragement. I am sorry that I have not yet written personally to many of you, but I hope to do so soon.

In the meantime, your prayers for my mum and family are greatly appreciated.

In Christ,
Manik

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